My weightloss journey!

Uggg….I didn’t go to the gym last night!!! I watched a movie and then went to bed!! I feel like a total bum!!! But I AM going tonight after work and I AM going to sweat till I die!! lol I had to get up super early to take my cousins little boys to breakfast and then to chill for a while cuz she was busy….so getting up early sucked….but I love those boys like they were my own, so that was fun!! We went to McDonalds for breakfast…..I got a sausage, egg and cheese mcmuffin….BAD!!! But then we walked through the mall for like an hour….so I don’t feel too bad!! I have to go to work today at 2 and I’m not looking forward to this weekend….I work 9hrs tomorrow and then 14hrs on sunday!! Don’t think I’ll be going to the gym either day….but I AM going tonight!!!!!!!!

Still at 256.2!! Those damn 2lbs came back and REFUSE to leave!!!! I don’t get it!!! I just need to drink ALOT of water today and KICK SOME ASS at the gym!!!!!!

Ok…well I’m gonna chill before work and I’ll be back tonight!! Thanks everyone for the happy thoughts and cheer ups!!! LOVE you guys!!! Have a great Friday!!!

Ok….so I feel bad….but I AM IN A BAD MOOD!!! It just seems like things keep pileing up and I can’t deal with it right now!!! My car is PISSING me off….my grandparents being so ill, so suddenly….my work…MEN…Working out like crazy these past two days and GAINING weight!!??!? REALLY??! Whatever….I just ate dinner and then I’m going to have a very low fat/cal/sugar dessert. Keebler waffle bowls only have 50 calories! So I got some of them and then some vanilla yogurt, fresh strawberries, and sugar free chocolate syrup! I figure it will taste really good together and will be really low cal/fat/sug!!! I’m happy about that at least!!!

Good grief….I sound like some little old bitter woman!! I’m not even that close to starting….I’m just not cool right now!! lol I feel like I could flip out and kick someones ass right now if they messed with me! lol I just want to get to the gym and RUN this anger/messed up feeling out of me!! Part of it could be that a guy that I’ve been talking with for a while actually said I “wasn’t worth it”!!! I know we never actually got together and all that, but we’ve been talking for like a year! WHATEVER!! And then on top of that…the guy that I did kinda hook up with last week….that I AM friends with….doesn’t talk to me!! We never talked before really….unless it was at work, but we have each others number now and we txt the first day and a few days after that, but unless I txt him…..I don’t hear from him!! So….I guess I need to just give up on him too and say fuck it!! I feel so damn worthless right now! I know I shouldn’t….but it’s hard to not feel like that when anyone and everyone around you is basically telling you they don’t want you!!! I wish I could just go live on an island for a month or something…alone…and really get ME figured out!!! I hate this feeling!!!!

Ok guys….sorry for the psyco moment….I really want to just go lay down and cry….but I’m going the gym tonight and I’m gonna run until I can’t see anymore!!! lol Hope everyone is doing good!! LET ME KNOW!!! I need happy stories right now!!!!

Oh boy!! Just got home from the gym!!! That was an AWESOME workout!! I flat out RAN a mile and a half!!! I felt so good when I got done!! I haven’t been to the gym in like 2 or 3 weeks and I was afraid I wasn’t going to be able to do anything…but I guess I still can!! lol Plus, having 70lbs off your body helps you go longer!! lol I worked on my arms and legs too and then swam!! I feel so good!!!! I’m hoping for a loss tomorrow, but I’ve been really stressed out so idk!! My granddad went into the hospital yesterday and then he reveals that my grandma is like 90% gone mentally!! WTF?!? No one even knew she was slipping and he says that in the last month she’s gone down so far that she doesn’t even know what’s going on anymore!!! I don’t know what to think about all this….but I know that I’m stressed and HUNGRY!! lol I should have eaten a snack before going to the gym!!! I think I’m gonna have some almonds and then go to bed!! :) 

BIGGEST LOSER!!! I LOVE Danny!!! He is my #1 favorite!!! I loved Rebecca too and was so sad to see her go, but did anyone see her on Jay Leno!?!? OMG she looks SOOOO amazing!!!!!!!! I am so happy for her!!!! Can’t wait to be that slim and fit and smokin hot!!

Anyway….well I’m gonna go get my almonds and then go to bed!!! LOVE YOU FRIENDS!!!! xoxo

Wow….70lbs! It still blows my mind! lol If I tried to life 70lbs at the gym I’d probably fall over! lol It was an ok day. Went to work at 6am and then took a nap when I got off because I was SOOO tired!! Went out to dinner with my parents…to a buffett…but I really tried to do well! I only had a few bites of the things that I knew were REALLY bad and avoided somethings all together! I had some gelato for dessert and a cookie! Came home after that with a crappy headache….and now I’m on here before bed!!

So….update time….this may be tmi for some of you…so move on if it is…lol So the guy from my blog a few weeks ago…yea…we kinda hooked up…didn’t get as far as I would have liked, we were at work!! I know…I feel really bad about that….yet excited! lol We work together again in a week and we plan on trying to finish what we started!! lol I’m actually really ok with this! I don’t want a relationship right now and I don’t think he does either, but he’s a really nice guy and we are good friends, so I hope we don’t ruin our friendship with what we’re doing…..I guess time will tell!! Either way…I’m happy for the moment and that’s all I can ask for!!

I’m off tomorrow and I plan on getting back to the gym one and for all. I haven’t done a workout video in 2 weeks probably! I’m still loosing, but not like I was when I was exercising regularly! I’m going tomorrow, come hell or high water. Which is very likely right now….it’s raining up a storm and isn’t suppost to quit until saturday!!!! DAMN!!!

Ok…well I’m going to bed….this headache is killing me and I’d really like to just zone out and relax!! Have a great start to the week friends!!! xoxo

Hey guys…..I hit 70lbs today!!!! Omg!!!! I know I haven’t been on alot lately, but I’m gettin on tonight to read blogs and all that! Just wanted to share the good news of 70lbs!!!! Only 5 more till my next mini goal/Thanksgiving goal of 75lbs!!!! Wow…..ok gotta go to work! Love u all…..be back tonight! Xoxo

It has not been a good day of eating…I was doing good in the morning and afternoon and then went to my cousins house for a family dinner and ate ok I guess….I stopped and got a fresh veggie tray and snacked on that and cheese until dinner….which was suppost to be chili dogs and chips. Well…I had a hot dog and veggies and then another hot dog about 4 hours later. I had 2 cookies and diet sunkist. It could have been worse, but I TOTALLY should have done better. My stomach is actually kinda bothering me right now and I’m thinkin it’s those nasty hot dogs!! Ugggg….I got like NO water today either…..blah!!!! I feel kinda crappy….but tomorrow is a new day I’m ready for it!! But…I’ve been up since 5am…so I’m going to bed now peeps!!! xoxo Hope everyone had a happy and healthy weekend!!!

So…..today is starting off ok…gained a pound back…probably because I went out drinking and only had like 3 glasses of water all day!! BOOOO!!! But….today is a new day!! I just made myself an AWESOME breakfast….english muffin breakfast sandwich with turkey bacon, 1 egg and 2% low fat cheese!! It is KICKIN ass!! Last nights dream is NOT helping my situation with my boy troubles…lol. Good dream though Anyway….my goal for today is to drink CRAZY amounts of water and get in an exercise video tonight after work!! I should go back to the gym…I’d love to swim again….maybe I will go back tonight! Who knows!! Ya know what I really want to do though…I want to start riding my bike again!! That would be AWESOME exercise!! Anyways…..Ok..I’m off to go on my daily walk and then work! I will keep yall updated!!! Have a great, healthy day!!!!!!! xoxo

Ok…so I may have a problem!! So….there’s this boy!! lol Well…long story short I like him and we’ve been friends for a while….we ALWAYS flirt and joke around and it’s ALWAYS these cute and dirty innuindo’s….he’s a good guy! ONLY problem…we work for the same company! And I PROMISED myself after the last DISASTER I got myself into by dating a coworker at this company that I would NEVER do it again!! Uggg….I don’t know what to do! Do I just keep up the banter and dirtiness until it drives me crazy and I pounce on him like a cheetah or do I just say something about it finally and shoot myself in the foot?!?! Ya know what….I never really considered this….but….if he liked me wouldn’t he have asked ME out by now??! Hmmm…..So….best to keep my mouth shut right?! I hate this part…the does he? doesn’t he? do I do anything? just let it happen….ugg!! What to do!!! I know this isn’t diet related….but I love and trust you guys so I’m asking your opinions!! And to make my nerviosness about trying to start something with someone I work with again, like I said I never would again…..we were at a training class together tonight and played around the whole time (mature…I know!!) and then someone who is really close to my ex made some ignorent comment about us flirting! What is this HIGH SCHOOL!!? We take care of mentally handicapped ADULTS….don’t you have to be one to help one?!?!?!? I would think so….AHHHH!!! Help!?!

Ok…so this is diet related… I drank 3 diet pepsi’s today and only 3 glasses of water! BAD ME!!! I ate really well though!! And I’m currently starving cuz I ate dinner really early but I’m just gonna go to bed and shut the growling tummy up!!! Soo…that was diet related! lol HELP PLEASE FRIENDS!!!! lol xoxo

Sooo much better today friends!! Sorry about my crazy post last night! I got up today, ate breakfast and then went for a walk around my neighborhood! It was .755 of a mile and it burned 47 calories according to my pedometer. I plan on figuring out a mile tomorrow and building from there. I’m feeling really good about this….except….my ipod broke and I have no music!!!! It sucks!! But I’m ordering a new one that should be in in a few weeks!! I had an ipod shuffle and I’m getting an ipod touch!! I’m SOOOO excited!! :)Oh and lets not forget that I lost 2lbs!!!! WHAT?!?! I know!! lol I’m at 258.8!! I’m in the 250’s!!!! WOOHOOO!! That’s only 9lbs until 75lbs!!! Holy shit batman!!!! Thanksgiving is gonna be soo sweet when I hit 75lbs gone!!! CAN’T WAIT!!!

I’m so glad I got up and walked today! I feel so good right now!! I still don’t want to go to work, but I have alot of energy that I normaly don’t have!! It feels great! I’m stopping at the animal shelter on my way to work to find out about volunteering there. I’m a HUGE animal and animal rights person so anything I can do to help the babies is AWESOME to me!!! And walking doggies would be great exercise!!

Ok..well I need to get ready for work and head out! HAVE AN AWESOME WEDNESDAY!!! It’s half over peeps!!! Weekend is right around the corner!! xoxo

Why am I SO HUNGRY today??? I don’t get it!! I ate really well until a few minutes ago…I just got off work with a MASSIVE headache and I came in and ate one of my low cal/fat cupcakes. THEN….I see peanut m&m’s left in the bowl from halloween….so what do I do???? EAT THEM!! Why?!?! I had 2 mini packs and then ran away from the bowl!!! I’m so pissed right now! I ate well all day…..drank alot of water….and ran around all night with clients! Why was I so hungry all day!? Why am I still hungry?! I don’t like this! I know I’m crabby…I have a very bad headache and my dog won’t stop BARKING so I’m being kinda blah on here right now! Sorry….. I just with I didn’t get headaches like every 5 minutes and I wish that I wasn’t hungery when I TRY so hard to be good and not eat bad thing!! It pisses me OFF so bad!!!!!!!!! Ok….this is my one BITCH IT OUT post and now I will stop and GO TO BED!!! Goodnight friends. I love you guys! I really wouldn’t be where I’m at without you all and your constant support. Sorry this post is so BLAH…please still love me in the morning…lol!! xoxo