My weightloss journey!

I kind of fell off the face of the earth for a while. Not happy about it…at all. I haven’t weighed myself in a while, but I am going to jump on the scale tomorrow, and go from there. I’m not going to be mad, or upset or anything. I got home form vacation yesterday and we all talked while in Florida about the changes we want to make once home. Myself, my mom, dad, sister, bro-in-law, nephew, grandad and my bff, Kyle, all went to Florida on vacation together. Most of us are overweight and seriously need to change our lives. My mom and dad started changing things a long time ago and are doing great! I did little things here and there, but haven’t taken it seriously. I am now. The gym and I are going to become friends again. Good friends. It’s time for me to get back to me. I want to start meditating. I think it could really help me focus and get back to me. So, I went grocery shopping and got good food. No more eating out all the time, no more ordering food when I’m at work even thought I brought food with me. I work 12 hr shifts, and I don’t ever have much time to eat and all that, but I seem to always be hungry….it sucks. So, I’m trying to figure out good protien options and things that keep me full. The things I used to eat when I was loosing and doing great, don’t keep me full anymore. So, it’s time to figure out new things! I work 9-9:30pm tomorrow and I want to go to the gym after work tomorrow and really start my week off right. I’m really in it this time….my mind is in the right place. It’s about me this time. Wish me luck, and good recipes are always welcome!

I want to do a boot camp, but I can’t seem to find one! My new goal is to hit the 270’s be October 7, 2011. That’s the day I leave for Florida on vacation. I don’t care if it’s 279, I just want to be in the 270’s!!! I want to be held accountable for this….that’s why I want to do a boot camp! Maybe I should get a personal trainer….It’s an idea that I’ve been thinking about! Once I have more money, I’m thinking about getting one if only for a few sessions, just to know what I need to do. I like to think that I know everything, but I don’t! lol

So, now that I’m back to working evenings (3-11), I’ll be back to the gym like a TIGER!!!! I go at night and I love it! I don’t have to deal with all kinds of people and it works for me! So…here’s to health and happiness!! xoxo

1.6lbs gone this week!! I’ll take it, it’s slow right now, but once I start working out again….it’s ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!!!!!!!!! I’m down about 8lbs as of now, 29 total since my highest weight of 324! NEVER AGAIN MOTHER FU*KERS!!!!!!!! Hope everyone is doing well!! HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND LOVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My lunch was crappy today….BOO!!! But, besides that, I ate great all day!! I love this whole bringing my lunch to work thing m-f. I’ve been eating so much healthier and no snacking all day bc I can’t!!! LOL I’m on days for another week while I’m still orienting, and then I should go to evening, which is what I was hired to work. So, I’m doing 7a-3p right now, and then I will be doing 3-11p m-f. It’s kind of a crappy schedule, but it’s a job!!! I also found out that the cafeteria closes after 2pm, so I will HAVE to bring my dinner with me! No temptation to eat bad food!! Plus, the only fast food around is a sunway across the street!! So even if I don’t have my dinner or something I know I can have a healthy option!! I’m excited to be working again!! Only problem, is that I have a 30+ min drive to and from. However, on Friday it took me almost an hour to get home due to traffic! Nights won’t be bad like that at all though.

So anyway…I had a bad lunch today. Makes me mad, but there’s nothing I can do about it but try harder tomorrow!! Hope everyone had a good day!! I’m off to bed! xoxo

Second blog of the day…but I wanted to do a little food journaling. Breakfast: 1 apple with 1 tbsp of low fat peanut butter and a glass of water. Snack: 100 cal pack of almonds/walnuts. Lunch out: Grilled chicken wrap and small strawberry/banana smoothie from McDonalds. Dinner: @ my cousins house-Cheeseburger and baked beans. Small snack of a few baked chips while waiting for dinner. I did have some soda while I was there, but no cake, no ice cream, no regular chips, no mac salad, NONE OF THAT! I’m very proud. I feel it was a good day. The soda should have been cut out 100%, but tomorrow is a new day. I start my new job tomorrow….I am excited and scared a little all at the same time. I’m sure it will be fine, but I still feel sick and I don’t want to start my new job all sick!!

Anyway….I’m gonna take a shower and go to bed early! Hopefully, I’ll wake up refreshed and ready for the day!!

I’m tired of talking about it…it’s time to just fucking do it! Jesus….I’m sick at the moment, and maybe that’s part of why I am so ready to just go out and do something about this life!!! I get sick WAY too much…and why?! Probably bc I eat such junk! Your body needs good food to be good! DUH!!!! Like eating greasy food is going to make you strong and healthy!? UMMM…..NO!!!!!! Eating fruits and veggies will though! Lean protiens and water! I may not be able to jump into the gym tonight with this cold/sickness, but I can eat better and drink water today!! NO SODA! I’m going to my 5yr old cousins birthday party….who says I have to have cake? No one!!!! Who says I have to have soda and chips!? NO ONE!!!! I will eat before I go so that I am full when I get there and if I’m full, I won’t need to eat right!?!? RIGHT!!! But that’s part of the sickness, eating when you’re full, eating bad things, eating, eating, eating!!! I’ve never been a binge eater or anything like that, but I eat too much and I eat things that are BAD for me! But, it’s time for a change and like anyone with a disease, it’s going to be one day at a time.

I truely believe that this disease is worse than any other….with crack, cigs, alcohol any of those things, you quit and NEVER look back. With food, you still have to have it everyday….to survive!! Just seems so wrong….but, it will make me stronger in the end if it kills me!!!!

So, here’s to keeping promises to myself and to making ME better!

Off and On…..good and bad….soda and water….salad and junk…..I feel like I just go up and down, back and forth so much!! I’ll so good, and then I screw it up! I don’t get it….it’s all just willpower and APPARENTLY, I don’t have any?! I want to get back to the gym so bad, it just seems like I always have something better to do….which is BS! Nothing is more important than my health…and I know this….I just don’t care enough to get up?? I don’t know the answer anymore….I used to be 100% on the ball….amazing at dieting and exercising and loving it all!!! I LOVED being healthy….I wonder if it’s 100% mental….bc if so, I need some help I think! I was good for almost the whole week and then yesterday just sucked! Cereal for breakfast, fine. McDonalds chicken nuggets for lunch…bad. Qdoba nachos for dinner…..BAD. 1 drink at a bar for a friends birthday…ok. 2 donuts and chocolate milk at 2am while watching a movie with Kyle. REALLY?! What kind of a day of eating is that!? No wonder I’m tired and have no energy!! I EAT CRAP ALL DAMN DAY! My only good thing is that I drank water all day…..but that totally doesn’t cancel out all the crap! Good lord!

So…..so far today, I’ve had cereal with skim milk. I’m planning a salmon salad for lunch. I have a few erronds to run, and then I will come HOME and eat lunch. WATER!!! all day!!!! I’m just not in a good mood….all this junk is so bad for me…..but it’s like I don’t care?! God, I need to get my head on straight!!!!!!!!!!

So I watched this documentary on Netflix called fat, sick and almost dead. It opened my eyes!! It’s initially about a man who is about 300lbs and decides to go on a juice fast for 60 days to see what it will do for him! HE LOST like 50 something lbs in the 60 days and then got down to 220lbs by eating right and exercising! The juice fast was to clean out his system and get everything healthy again. He said the first 3 days were the worst ever, but after that he had so much energy and was loosing weight that he kept it up for 60 days! No obviously, he was under Dr. supervision and they say it’s only healthy to do for so long….not a life time! Everyone he interviewed along the way said they thought it wouldn’t work, or he’d gain more weight back then when he started and I too thought the same thing! But, he defied all those people and me too and lost the weight and through a healthy life style, has kept it off!!! I am amazed!!!!

I don’t know if this would work for everyone….I’m sure not everyone can do it! I doubt I could do that for 60 days! But, I am going to try to do some juicing! I want/need the fruits and veggies! Now…I know there will be people that say it’s dangerous and bad and on and on….all I’m saying is…watch the documentary and then talk to me! It’s just cool!!

I have changed so many things about how and what I eat. Fruit all the time, veggies, healthy proteins, low cal/fat, more water. I do still drink soda and here and there I eat things that I shouldn’t, but not often. My whole family is changing. However, I AM STARVING all the time. I eat, and then 10 minutes after I eat a good meal, I’m so hungry I want to eat everything! I drink lots of water, I eat fruit and veggies…I don’t know what else to do!! I need to start working out again…and like NOW!! I really do and I know it. I just have to figure out this hunger thing! I’ve done this before and I’ve never been hungry all the time like this before! It sucks!

We’re doing a bbq  my sisters house….grilled chicken, corn on the cob, salad with mixed veggies in it, and watermelon! We also got fat free frozen yogurt, strawberries and chocolate sauce for dessert. I have had some soda today, more than I should, but other than that…it’s been a good day.

I need to find my workout DVD’s…..I want to go to the gym, but I want to find my DVD’s! So….when I get home, I think I will look for them! Hope everyone has had a good day! xoxo

Not much to say today…My meals have been a little out of wack lately…still pretty healthy, but just a little out of wack. I’m anxious to see what the scale says tomorrow. Hopefully it’s a loss…I really want to be able to change my weight ticker! I need to go back to the flamingo…so that I can yell at the flamingo again! I think I will do that right now actually!!

I went on my job interview today!! It looks really promising!! I knew the woman that I interviewed with form my previous job, and it looks like it’s mine, but we shall see!! Keep your fingers crossed please! thanks! I’ll be working 3-11, 5 days a week. It will be so much easier for me to get into a gym schedule!! I can just go right to the gym after work! That’s what I need! I’m excited!

I went out for dinner and got chicken fajitas. They were AMAZING!! I’m pretty sure they are low in fat too…I didn’t add much cheese or sour cream to them. Lots of veggies!! But I did have Pepsi. Such is life. So, we shall see what the scale says tomorrow!

I’ve had lots of water lately….it’s hard not to when it’s this hot here! My car 120 degrees when I got in today….I almost died!! I’ve never seen it that hot! Stay save and healthy guys!! xoxo